I feel like crap. No, wait, crap probably feels better because it’s out and free. You know sometimes I am floored by Humanity, especially in times of “Goodwill towards man, and Peace on Earth.” Alright I guess I will explain.
Christmas is coming and I have been making plans for quite a long while now to go visit my Son and My parents in Oregon. So I am going to be gone from the 21st through the 28th of Dec. That’s great stuff right? Amy was making plans to go visit her family in TX as well. So we wouldn’t be spending Christmas together, I understand that, we are both with Family and that ok. I even thought it would be a nice Idea to buy her a Plane ticket for her Christmas present. Wasn’t cheap, but I figured, part of that good will towards man thing, it was for a good cause. She would get to see her Kids, and be with her Dad and brother on Christmas.
Well, that was the plan. Last night new plans came to light. For reasons not to be listed here because it’s not my story to tell, we had to cancel Amy’s ticket. Granted she now has a goodly sized credit with the airline that will be used before Dec of 05, minus the $130 cancel fees. But now she won’t be going anywhere for Christmas, and I will be in OR. This kills me because I know she knows so few people here and most of them will be leaving too.
She is being very adult about it, but I know it hurts. I have spent a lot of Christmases alone due to Military and whatever so I know what it’s like. You say in your head “It’s just another day” Until that morning comes around and you wake up and then try and force yourself back to sleep because you know Christmas is there and no one else is. You turn on the TV and see the Specials Airing, “Christmas Story” (you’ll shoot your eye out) and “Nightmare on elm Street” (Whenever Freddy Kills, and Angel Looses his wings).
I sat staring at the Cancel button for a few minuets while the Orbits Lady on the phone explained how to handle the credit and all. And I felt the pain shoot through my heart when I had to click it. I am so used to making things work no matter what and I have lost control of a situation that probably wasn’t in my control to begin with. I don’t know what else to do.
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