You know how when you first start out in a relationship, you see everything that is wonderful about the other person? You end up spending all night talking with them and then the next morning when you wake up you remember that you were talking all night with them, but can’t really remember what you were talking about? Not that it matters much because what ever it was, it was wonderful. It’s kind of like when you just get a brand new puppy. They are so cute! The wiggle around and make cute faces, you make cutsie faces right back at them while making goo goo eyes and fuzzy wuzzy talk. (Of Course, that’s what a less than manly person would do, not me of course. Of course I wouldn’t do something like that. Did I say Of course too many times?) This is the initial phase of the relationship. Everything is puppies and kittens.
Then, before you know it, the ensign taps a control on the panel and you ware 3.7 light years from there diving into the next phase. Puppies grow out of the cute fluffy stage and start peeing on the couch and eating your good shoe. You start to notice the little things that may start to grate, and of course you, no doubt, start doing tons of little things that grate right back. This is probably one of the most important phases. The trial and error phase. It’s called that because you will no doubt try everything you can to not make any errors. The reason this phase is the most important is because this is what sets you up for that all important stage, the comfort stage. But we aren’t there yet. (cue rewind sfx)
During that first phase, all of your charm comes out and you use your natural instinct to court your mate. You say all the right things, you glace over to the dresser and all those miniature figurines of ducks all seem to be sitting daintily in a row. (Figuratively speaking) The second phase, you suddenly have it thrust upon you that you are in fact (dun dun dun dun) a human being. In learning so, your body suddenly begins to sweat, body odor becomes apparent, and instantly you have about 15 blemishes on your face that you could swear weren’t there before. But this, as much as we would like to believe, is who you really are. As much as you would like to sit in puppy stage, you advance into that awkward stage where you limbs don’t do what they are supposed to and you trip around a lot.
Even as an older puppy though, it’s still fun to get pet, you still enjoy lying on the sofa with someone you care about (even if they swat your nose again). And growing into new stages means new things. You gain a new respect for the other person because of the subtle intricacies that make them unique. You find that, because you spent all the time with them during the first phase, when they aren’t there involved in your life, you miss them. There is still a learning that goes on of course, but it’s a deeper learning. The first phase is for getting to know someone. The second phase is for learning to love someone. Yeah, it may be awkward at times, but think of all the things you have experienced in your life that was awkward. When you look back on them and how they affected your life, you realize that, you are who you are because of them. (Ok so maybe that drunken incident at my sisters wedding could have been forgotten, but that’s beside the point) The second stage is important because this is where you learn the bond that initially brought the relationship together in the first place.
Sometimes you get through the first stage slip through the second with out another glance, jumping into the comfort stage without looking. Then you realize that you never really got to know the person you are so comfortable with. They realize it too and you learn to just walk away. Other times you jump out of the first phase and hit that second stage like a ton of bricks. No matter how hard you try to make things work, they just don’t work out. Sometimes, though, just sometimes, you venture into that second stage willing and ready to learn and love and grow, and that is what makes the whole relationship worth while. The fact that even after the first stage is done, you get a random memory or thought, and it makes you smile. You think of how you would be without that someone, and it makes you sad. You wish time would fly by so that you could see them again, then you wish time would stand still so you can spend as much as possible with them. Puppies and kittens don’t stay that way forever. They grow up, and become dogs and cats. And in doing so, they become closer to you, and you never want to let them go.
That’s what love is….
Right?
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