What is it with groups and clubs that bring out the worst in people? I am a member of the 501st Storm Trooper Legion. Before that I was a member of the SCA. In the SCA it really became a pissing contest of “Who has the better costume” “Whose stuff is more historically accurate” and so on. When I joined, I just wanted to Dress the period and have fun with people who did the same thing. It was like that for around the first year or two, then I started getting further and further into the mechanics of the club and seeing the beast for what it truly was. There would constantly be bickering over who was doing what event, and so many people had to be there to do certain things. It became less of a Fun place to hang out and more of a “Job.” Well, I didn’t want an extra job that didn’t pay me, so I left. I still have some of the out fits and I wear them at conventions, but No more SCA.

So along came this great group called the 501st. Storm Troopers! Who doesn’t like star wars and storm troopers? I have always loved Star Wars. And the idea of Dressing up as a Scout Trooper from Return of the Jedi appealed to me. I could go to Conventions, I could help with Charities. These people are huge star wars fans, as well as other Sci-Fi fantasy movies. So I dove in head first. Assembled my Scout Trooper with some help from some very talented people, and started in having fun. Conventions, Parties, Parades, you name it and I was trying to be a part of it!

Now sadly, my motivation has died down. Partly, I am sure, to the winter blahs, but also to the fact that I see the same politics and bickering going on here that I saw in the 501st. Is it really so hard for people to Just get together and have fun? Why does it have to be a contest? I shouldn’t feel the need to spend $3k on a costume just because you spent $2k on yours. If I want to throw a Bed Sheet over myself and call it a ghost, why can’t we just have fun with it?

Anyways, I wonder what the next group will be like.

This weekend was another blah weekend, I was sick so I really didn’t feel like doing much of anything. Saturday was spent mostly playing World of Warcraft. Have to say, this is one of the Best MMORPG’s on the market right now. Very stable, very well populated, and very very entertaining. I think I will probably write up something more about it later this week.

Since Saturday was kind of a lazy around the house sort of day, we decided to try and get out on Sunday. Of course that didn’t last long, as I started feeling sick again. While out, we stopped by Wal-Mart and picked up “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow” and the curled up on the couch to watch it.

This was a good Flick. Very “Film Noir” style of filming with a 30’s sci-fi theme to it. The cinematography was amazing and the special effects were awesome! The acting was good, not great, but good. Overall I would recommend it out to people. On a completely side note I would like to ask a question about the DVD I purchased. On the front of the DVD case it said “Special Collectors Edition.” In and of itself that’s not bad. What was bad is that 1: This was the only version available for sale, and 2: There was nothing special about it. It was just like any other DVD with some extra features. I know it’s just some marketing ploy to sell more DVD’s because they are the “Special Edition”. My Question is, what will they call it when they, inevitably, release the real Special Edition. They always do that with these movies. The initial release comes out and then a few months later the special one with all the cool stuff comes out.

So anyways, that was the highlight of Sunday. The down side came in about 2pm when I started to get a headache. This, of course, turned in to a full blown migraine by around 4:30ish. After a 30 min shower I finally gave up and turned off all the lights in the house and curled up in bed. I don’t think I can adequately explain how much having a migraine hurts. You literally want to pull your head off and smash it against the wall because that would probably hurt less.

And of course this is the time when my entire family wants to call me and chat, or ask questions. My head hurt so much, the Light from the Cell Phone sent stabbing pains through my brain and the ringer was louder than if I pressed my ear against the bells of Big Ben. I really hope I am feeling better this coming weekend, I have far too much to do.

That’s how I have felt today. I have been super busy at work. The way my “Cubical” is set up here I have about 3 Computers on my Desk (which is a full U shape) and then a “Laptop Deployment Station” (which consists of a table with an Ethernet plug and power) at the end of my desk.

Well I have been bouncing between the 3 computers and the Station all day long. Thus the reason I have not really had the chance to Post much today. And worst of all, it’s Friday! I have no idea what all is going on this weekend. I guess assuming it’s halfway decent outside I may try and clean that shed out, but I know it’s going to be crazy cold.

Part of me wants to go out and do something, the other part wants to stay in and clean and stay warm and play on the PC. Not sure which part is going to win as of right now. I think this weekend is going to be a play by ear weekend. I honestly think I am getting over-stressed and I am not even sure why. Anyone ever get that way?

/sigh

Ok, so someone needs to loan me 15,000 bucks! I have to . If you look in the “About Me” section you will see me in front of a mock up of this car. I have always loved it. If I could afford to own a Delorean I would. But this guy goes one step father and actually Mods the car to Back to the Future Standards!!! Is it too late to ask for this for Christmas??

Ok, I noticed that a bunch of the blogging crew (seems everyone has one now) have been writing about significant memories. Seeing as how I rarely want to be left out, I thought I would bring to you this little story. I wrote this a few days after the September 11th attack. Some of you know that I was in the Pentagon at the time. This happened while Heather and I were still married, and I was still in the military. In case you were wondering, I did speak to a counselor after the incident and I was suffering from a bout of Survivors guilt, but I have since overcome that. A very Wise person explained to me that fate works in mysterious ways, and if I were meant to survive the way I did, then I should be content and give thanks for what I have.

Once again, this was written just a few days after September 11th 2001. This Story is entirely un-edited or revised. This is how I wrote it over 3 years ago.

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I thought I would write this down to let you know what Happened. Tuesday I went to work for a very normal day. The morning went fairly normal and standard. Then we saw then news about the WTC. At first I thought that it was just a terrible accident. My friends Doug and I left the office and headed to the ATM to get some money for Breakfast. While waiting for the ATM to open someone came by and said that a Second Plane struck the WTC. I started to realize that this was odd. But I have a great amount of faith in my Military and knew that the investigation had already started. To me at the time it was still just a CNN image. Doug and I got our food, bagel, bag of chips, and an Iced Tea, and came back into the office to watch the report. I finished my Bagel and sat down at the Internet computer. 9:43; I heard a Noise that sounded like a Generator starting up. For a split second, because of the thought of terrorism on TV, I thought Could it? Nahh, this is the Pentagon. So I started to send Heather a Text message to her Cell phone. “2 Planes hit World Trade Center. Turn on CNN”.

I logged off and Sat at my desk. Started eating my chips and decided to call my Friend at Clarendon (another building nearby). I picked up the Phone and Hit the speed dial Button, but noticed the Numbers on the phone were all wrong. When I hung up to call again, someone came in a said “get out” Having My Tea and chips still in my hand I ran for the door. The thoughts going through my mind were “This is just a standard Precaution, Just Routine” I exited the Pentagon through the 8th Corridor Exit to North Parking. Walking out of the Building I started to realize the Magnitude. I looked over my shoulder and stared at the Black Plume and Flames coming from the building I was just sitting in. I moved with my co-workers to the middle of North Parking and we started to keep lookout for others from our area. We sat and watched. The only thoughts going through my mind were of somehow getting a hold of Heather and telling her that I am ok. I thought “I just told her to look at CNN and she will see this”. It was soon after that someone came with reports of another plane.

I ran.

With others from my office in front we ran to the end of the parking lot. We saw a Van with some people we knew and got in. They drove us to the Vienna Metro Station, which is on the west side of DC. I live on the East side. In the Van I was loaned 2 Cell phones. One was calling heather’s Cell, the other calling my parents. The Cell network was swamped. I got through to my Mom First. When she answered the phone, I knew the emotion going on in her head. I said “I’m Ok. I made it out ok” The relief I heard from her was overwhelming as she said “thank you” We hung up quickly so that others could do the same. I still tried desperately to reach heather. I boarded the Metro at about 11:20. We started out eastward Back through Washington DC. Every now and then I would ask someone for the use of their cell phone. One of the Calls I was able to get through to Heather’s Voice Mail and I left a Message on the home phone saying, “I’m Ok, I am on my way home” But I still had not talked with her directly. After leaving the Pentagon, I heard nothing else about what was going on. I didn’t know if she had been evacuated or hit.

Every time the train stopped when not in a station I had fears, my heart leapt. I had visions of Japan attacks on the subway. On top of everything else, I had to Pee. Bad. I reached the Stadium Armory Station, The sop to change to the Blue line that would take me home. I saw Train right after train come through. Leaving Stadium Armory the trains come above ground for a moment. I borrowed another cell phone and called Heather. I got through. I told her I was ok and that I loved her. She said she loved me. And I lost signal as the train went underground. It was 12:30. I got to Addison Road and went across the street to a Barber shop to use the restroom. I would like to say that on any other day I would have done my best to make it home before going into there because of the neighborhood I lived in. I was in Uniform and for one of the first times since living here, I saw no hate on anyone’s face, I didn’t see a Hispanic person or an African person. I saw an American person. Concern painted on everyone’s face. I got a ride home from another Military person and borrowed the key to my house from my neighbor. My keys were still in the pentagon. Everything was there. I didn’t even have my hat.

I had 13 messages on my machine. So many people Called to hear from me. So many people cared. I finally talked with Heather. She was locked down on Bolling AFB and couldn’t come home. A fellow military member invited her to their home. I went about calling everyone who took the time to call me. Heather got home at 5:30. Tuesday evening I went back to the Pentagon to retrieve my things. I walked in and there was a thin layer of smoke in every room and hallway. I could smell the burning. It sickened me. I was smelling the Burning remains of my Military Brothers and sisters. I got my stuff and got out. Heather and I went home and I showered. I went to sleep, and thankfully, didn’t dream.

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I like the simple things in life. Sleeping in on a Saturday morning, a warm Chai on a cold morning while looking out at the snow covered trees, spending time with friends and laughing about the time I lit a bottle rocket attached to my shoe and it didn’t fly (but I sure did). The world is a very complicated place, I realize this. We have silly things like war, famine, crime, poverty, organized religion, and other things that make life on this plane of existence a pain in the tuckus. My question is, why?

Why is there War? Apparently, someone back a thousand or so years ago didn’t like someone else for something they did to their father or land or sheep, and because of this, we have millions of people pointing guns at each other. But why? What does it solve now? Over the past bajillion years we have grown as a human race to the point of drawing lines in dirt to say that “This dirt is mine, that dirt is yours.” Now there is no Un-Owned dirt. We war with each other because your dirt is better than my dirt and I want it. Even more so, we war with each other because my god is better than your god. But more on this later.

Why is there Famine? When I moved into my new apartment, I looked around the area and noted to myself that there was a grocery store located nearby. I knew that in order to purchase food from said store, I would need a job. That job would require me to exert energy to produce a product of some sort for my employer. In return, my employer would then give me money. With that money I can buy food. For that matter, in older days, mankind would plant their own food and harvest it themselves, thus exerting energy to produce, well, produce. Now, knowing all of this, why do I turn on my TV and see commercials about “Feed the starving children in Slabdonia!” If Slabdonia doesn’t have food, and can’t produce food, and they can’t somehow produce something that can be traded for food, why do people live there? We have lots of starving people where in the USA, why wouldn’t we send money to help feed the starving children who are already here? I saw 2 “homeless” people on the street, one with a sign that said “Hungry, please help” and he was just laying there with a cup. The other was playing a Sax, his sign said “Hungry, but at least I am not sitting on my ass with a cup.” He was playing pleasant holiday music and providing some sense of atmosphere to the street life. He was producing, and I, as a walker of the street was his employer. I gave him money.

Why is there Crime? Mostly I believe that crime centers on greed. The essential “I want what you have because I don’t have it” syndrome. So instead of finding the above mentioned job and exerting the above mentioned energy, a different kind of energy is spent to induce potential risk to achieve a product. But why? Is the risk worth the goal? Does it really take that much more energy to just work for what you want? The person who has the product now apparently worked for it.

Why is there Organized Religion? Keep in mind when I ask this that I am all for people having their own beliefs. I don’t fault the Bhuddest for believing in Bhudda, I don’t fault the Pagan for believing in the earth. What I am asking about is the Money Grubbing Churches that ask people to send them their fortunes so that they can buy more airtime on TV. The Religions that beg for money, so that they can send people overseas to other regions, to convert people who don’t believe in their god. The people who Go on TV and beg for money to feed the starving children in Slabdonia, then use the money to make more TV ad’s to beg for more money. They claim that it only takes 17 cents a day to feed a whole tribe there. How much did it cost to make that commercial? Couldn’t you have just given that money to them? Come to think of it, why are they in Slabdonia in the first place? Didn’t we already learn that they can’t get food there? Besides, all you want to do it Trade them food for them believing in your god, so they their neighbors will war with them and steal their food! This has been going on for eons! The organized mob that claims “My God is better than Your God, so you better choose him!” WHY??? Why can’t we just let it be? You believe in your god and be happy, I’ll believe in mine and be happy. You know what would happen then? You would find that we have something in common, Happiness! We are both happy, living in our little patches of dirt, working in our little jobs producing what we want to produce to get money for things that we want (like food), and worshiping who we want to worship.

Why is this Such a hard concept to come by?

Sorry, Felt like a rant. We now return you to your regularly scheduled madness. In the Meantime, here is some Pie.

Well, you may notice from my Absence that I was away from the ol keyboard for the whole weekend. It was nice to Unplug, sort of. I really did plan quite a bit for the weekend. Too bad I didn’t get much of it done.

Thursday, as you know, I was off for the Inauguration. Was nice, I think we stayed in for most of the day and went with Paul to Macaroni Grill for dinner. Friday was all me. Amy went to work so I was home all day by myself. I probably would have gotten a lot accomplished except that Lee and Doc also too the day off and we ended up playing EQII all day long. Seriously, we played all day.

Saturday it snowed like crazy. After spending a little time on the couch waking up, we decided to go out and do some shopping. I needed a new coat, and I wanted to drive on the snow in the truck. So we went to Galyans Sporting goods and looked at a bunch of them. I ask you, why would a simple winter coat cost like 300 bucks?? Seriously! It was crazy, almost all of them were around 2-300 bucks! I finally found what is probably “Last year’s model.” It cost me $50 and it really nice (you can see a pic of me in it on the photoblog). I also needed some shoes so we stopped at REI next. Here is a tip, don’t go to REI for shoes. They are overpriced and they hardly have a selection. It was Modell’s Sporting Goods next on the list. Now I am asking myself, “why I didn’t go there first?” They had some nice jackets for $20. They also had some great shoes at good prices. Well after all the shopping it was time to hit Starbucks. Paul met up with us and we just hung out for a while.

Sunday was a different story. I cleaned up the Computer Desk area and even combined it down a Bit (what did you know, the file cabinet fits under the desk) so now I have a lot more room over there. I didn’t get to the outside shed because, obviously, it was freaking cold. Also due to it being cold my knee started acting up a lot. For some reason by around 9pm Sunday I was just exhausted so by around 10pm I was in bed. I felt kinda bad because Lee and Doc were waiting on me to come back into EQ2 but I was beat. Guess I will make it up to them tonight.

Today at work has been moderately busy, mostly just trying to catch up from Friday. I may also be working late because of it. Ah well. Possibly more later.

So here it is, almost midnight Thursday night, and I am no where near tired. It donned on me that I hadn’t posted all day. That’s what happens when I am not at work and have a PC in front of me through out the day. Actually, today I didn’t play hooky at all, we got the day off for the Presidential Inauguration. I suppose it would have been cool to go down to DC and see all the hoopla, but to be honest, the thought of crowding around thousands of people and stand out in the cold to see the President from about 10,000 meters away didn’t sound appealing. Yes, it’s one of those once in a lifetime things, (assuming your lifespan is about 3.9 years) but I found that there were better things to spend my time on. Like spending time with Amy.

Now, tomorrow is a different story. I figured, I had Monday off. I went to work Tuesday and Wednesday. I get Thursday off, why not make it a four day weekend and enjoy it. So I took Friday off as well. Sadly, Amy is going into work so it’s just me here all alone, but that will give me the chance to finish up my “Minimalizing” process. I think I will attack the outside shed and back patio tomorrow. This way I have more storage space to clean out the den with.

Things in Oregon are going as expected. My Mother is getting stressed out dealing with all of the preparations for my grandfather’s memorial. I heard that they read the post that I wrote about the rock and have decided to read it at the service. From what I understand, I have a tendency to make people cry when they read this blog. Who knew! (: and here I am just trying to write out what I am feeling and experiencing in my life.

One thing I have noticed is that the 24th is creeping up. What is the 24th you ask? Why, one year ago on the 24th is would be the first day that I actually posted a “Blog” type post to the net. I know this is going to sound silly, but when I did it, I had no real idea about what a blog was and how many people were using them. I just wanted to start an online journal because I knew I was going to be facing a lot of challenges. Since that day I have, Gotten Divorced, Exited the Military, Moved to a new apartment by myself, Joined the 501st, Got a new job that I love, Traveled to Vegas, established a net domain, Started dating, Experienced numerous hardships, experienced just as many joys, and brought it all to you via this medium. I am like my own HBO Mini-series!

One of the whole reasons I started up the Blog was so that I wouldn’t have to constantly explain what was going on in my life to so many different people. You know how, when something big happens, you have this great story that goes with it and you enjoy telling it. That is, until you end up telling it for the 5th time to someone. Now, when something happens, I post about it and when people ask me, I just say “Check out my Blog!” As a matter of fact, most people have stopped asking me and just start talking about what happened. It always makes me happy when someone contacts me and quotes something from the site.

Well it’s getting late and I am just starting to ramble now. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Who knows what I may write about when I get tired and just start running on. Whoops, it’s after midnight now, guess this just became the first post for Friday.

Happy Friday All!

In the hopes of getting beyond all that is going on I present to you the “Where did Wizzer come from?” Post. I figure that once I post all of these questions and answer posts, I may actually compile them all into a FAQ and post it. Either that or I will write a book. You know that CafePress will actually publish books? You can send them a document and cover design and they will publish and sell as needed books. How cool is that? But anyways, I digress.

I have heard just about every joke known to man about the name Wizzer. From piss jokes, to wiener jokes I hear them all. The real story goes back to when I was about 15 years old and my brother introduced me to a game called Shadowrun. Shadowrun is a role playing game based in a futuristic world of post apocalyptic goodness. It’s a very cool game and I really got into it at the time. Well, in Shadowrun there is a type of character called a “Decker.” A Decker is a hacker of sorts, he plugs the computer into his head and maneuvers around the “Matrix” to manipulate data. (Shadowrun came out long before the movie “Matrix”) Another aspect of the game is a surplus of cybernetics. So here I thought that it would be fun to take a Decker and pump him full of speed enhancing cybernetics. His mind would be tweaked out to run as fast as possible and so would his body. But what to call him? “Speedster?” “Fastman?” Well, being an avid comic reader I turn to my pulp hero’s to see what names I can dredge from their colorful world. There is always The Flash, Superman, and Capt. Marvel. Those are all overdone and don’t have near the right sound. Then I came across a golden age wonder called Whizzer. He could run really fast, and was not very well known. Not wanting to directly copy, I dropped the “H” and Wizzer was born. I played avidly for quite a few years, and I still have some of the books.

Around the age of 17 I received my first real computer. It was a true POS, with a 286 processor and an internal 1200 baud modem. This was just enough to get me online into some of the local BBS’s. Most of you know that in order to establish an online presence you need a handle. Since I had been playing the character Wizzer for so long, I adopted that as my online Identity. I was a BBS addict logging into boards by the name of Phosphor and Inferno. I made many friends while on these systems. I attended live gatherings and a number of parties. I even survived some of the jokes that spawned from the “Dress as your Handle” Parties. (a 6 pack of Jolt cola as well as about 3 No-Doze at the same time solved that conundrum) Well, BBS’s grew into my first internet account with a company called Netcom (I think they were eventually bought out by EarthLink). This was a UNIX shell account and was entirely text based. I had access to the web via a server side program called lynx. I started logging into IRC Channels on Undernet, and posting to Newsgroups. (I am sorry to admit that I was once a poster to Alt.ensign.wesley.die.die.die, Sorry Wil!)

When I joined the Military I took sort of a Hiatus from computing until I arrived in Okinawa and bought me a Super fast Pentium (not Pentium II or III just the regular old P1) Of course I had to continue with the only online nomenclature I knew. And that would carry me into the here and now. It used to be when I would sign up for a new website or ISP that I could use Wizzer as a name and it would not be taken, but alas the times have caught up with me and there are a number of Impostors out there, and I am sure they came up with the name on their own, much like I did. I guess it’s just hard when you have used a handle for so long not to be bitter when you find it’s taken by someone else.

So now you know, and knowing is Half the battle.

When I was very young, I used to visit my grandparents house in Oregon. They would take me fishing, I would play in the forest across the street, and we would go down to the beach. My Grandfather loved to fish. He had his own boat, (named after my sister) and would go out on the ocean and salmon fish. Sometimes he would take me out with him. He loved to spend time with me but I know he must have hated taking me out on that boat. You see, it was a very small boat, with no Restroom. If you had to “go” then he had a small milk jug that you went in and then committed your “donation” to the sea. Well see, at 12 years of age, I wasn’t too fond of peeing in front of other people, much less into a jug. So I would hold it. The problem with holding it is that, at 12 years old, I didn’t have a very large bladder, and the boat trips were often very very long. So I would end up in pain, and he would inevitably end up turning around and taking us in. When he did this I would often hit the bathroom and be fine.

Being a young boy I also loved to dig around and find rocks. Looking back, I am not even sure why, I just did. I would always bring tons of rocks back to my grandparents’ house and leave them in various places. One time, My Grandfather told me that I had better not leave any of those rocks in his workshop area. Well, for those that know me you would know that I am a smart ass, and that telling me something like that is more then likely going to Elicit a response. The night before I was supposed to leave to go back to my parents house I specifically left a Rock sitting in the middle of his workbench. To me, this was very funny. To him, it became even funnier when he wrote “I’m Back” on it and wrapped it up as a Christmas present. In return, he got a rather heavy birthday present. So began the great Rock Tradition. For well over 15 years, this rock had traded hands between my grandfather and I on birthdays, Christmas, fathers day, etc. I even sought my chance to deliver it back to him this last Christmas and took it with me. I gave it to him on Christmas Eve as his present. In return, he snuck it into my luggage on the 29th of Dec.

Tonight at around 11ish PM my time, my grandfather passed away. He had suffered through many ailments and this was his time to go. I am happy that I had the chance to see him in a decent state before it happened. I am glad we were able to exchange the rock one last time. He will be missed, but I know that he is not suffering any more, and he is in a better place. Now, I just need to figure out how to send the rock there.

Rest in Peace Papa.

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